blogging suddenly seems so stupid to me.. but i feel that it is a good way to convey my feelings and my inner thoughts everytime..

well, everything is still in a mess rite now.. din noe how to explain.. i always got this feeling of wanting to be single and regain my freedom tt i once enjoyed.. not as if my bf controls me too much, but the feeling of this instability is driving me crazy.. sometimes he doesnt even care.. sometimes he care too much.. i always have a hard time guessing what he is feeling.. somebody help me pls.. i wanted so badly to fool around in clubs or go dating with guys.. but now, is not about me alone.. i have to ans to somebody and i cannot help but to tink about the consequences when all things spilled out.. so hard, so tired.. can i just give up all these?

dun care anymore larz.. just whack larz.. projects are taking too much of my time too.. everything is lky an illusion.. it just happens to fast for me to even react.. well, looking on the bright side, holidays are in about 2 weeks time.. hehe.. means tt i have more time for myself and more time for everybody! wait for me ok?

i just feel tt i have not fulfil my role as a filial daughter.. feel sorry fro my parents.. i always give them troubles, bring them worries, spend their hard-earned money lky water.. and on top of everything, im harming my own body.. im sorry mum, for arguing with you over senseless stuff, standing so frim on my decisions and ideas.. but i just feel tt the way im doing things are reasonable and at least i noe what im doing and i believe that i wun regret the things that i have done.. at least for now.. so mum, i still feel sorry that i have create so much trouble to you lately.. and daddy, thanks for all the love you gave me.. giving money everytime i asked for it.. i love you for loving me so much..

wah!! suddenly get so emotional.. but im still in a mess.. dun ask me why..