please tell me im not running away.

people say.
people say.

people told me alot of things.
people said alot of things to me.

but somehow im not rational enough.
im not in the right state of this fucking mind to think of what the fuck is wrong with this whole shit.

i cant be happy. i cant.
to take this all in my stride, to feel from the bottom of my heart.
to be sincere, to be true. and most importantly to muster up this courage to face this whole muthafucking shit again.

everything is back to square one. it should be a year ago.
guess pride ate me up, pride does not allow myself to let go.

why? you question.
YES! TELL ME WHY!?

im cursing, im swearing.
im using abuse to numb myself.
covering these ears, shutting these eyes.
i dont wanna hear, i dont wanna see.

i dont wanna hear how i should be happy for you.
i dont wanna hear how happy you are with her.
i dont wanna see her face *and yours too.
i dont wanna see her name appear in everything thats gotta do with you.

`i taking all these down. chucking every single piece of memories aside.
badly want every single piece to be out of my sight, out of my mind.