was on my way home the other day after getting my phone fixed and my chicken rice at far east, come to think of it actually quite stupid i went town just to do these things?!?! damn fuck, alrite, where was i? oh, yeah.. i was on the bus on my way home and there is this secondary school couple not far from me, they were giggling and teasing each other and seems to enjoy each other's company.. well, basically the point is i wanted to go up to them and smack their heads hard with my Fila handbag.. why? coz they are making me freaking jealous and i can get to slp! ok maybe the slping part is secondary.. but i admit i was jealous! but nvm! i will try to be magnanimous and not to look at them.. so i was sitting there all alone with the giggling and everything, i recap the past 19 years of my life..

when i was in primary school, i am very contented with lil things tt falls upon me.. i remembered all i want is my mamee snacks, my 50 cents ice-cream, 10 cents frozen ice bar, 50 cents noddles in the canteen.. so u see, im a happy girl rite? my childhood is all about fond memories.. and i remembered once i steal money from my dad's money pouch and got caught.. my mum caned me and made me kneel in front of the altar for hours (yeah, so old school), i cant remember how old i was den..

so when i went to secondary school, i start to know abt "steads", BGR, gangfights, smoking, staying out late, vulgarities.. it changed me somewhat or another, arguements with my parents, avioding home, practically destroying myself.. and no, im doing it for attention or wat, i just feel tt im "cool" becoz i have done all these things.. but no! i was damn wrong, damn fucking wrong! until today, i still regret what had happen and what i have done to myself, but i did not lose anth(except for my health if u are being calculative), at least i noe tt there are many ppl ard me who loves me, tt includes my family, my loved ones and my frens! so im out of tt idiotic life of mine and changed for a better future and a better person, so i started mugging for 'O's and be guai at the same time..

well, poly, in a few months time, i will be out of poly and tt really freaks me out.. anyways, as i was saying, poly somewhat changed my life even more.. and it gave me a new perspective of whats life and the future all abt.. but everything here is so fast moving and competitive.. so yeah! but i still love poly anyway!

so, tts a boring tale-telling session.. den i start to think abt my past relationships and those guys who had entered my life significantly.. (dad and bro not included) i began to feel sad for myself.. all my relationships are getting more and more short-lived as i grow older.. damn saddening can? im such a failure! but seriously, come to think of it, my ex-bfs are either my good frens now or those whom i duno where have they disappeared to.. losers! maybe as i grow older, the less committment and promises i can give and live up to it, and tt may result in all these shit happening rite.. but im really sorry.. i oso din want things to happen this way one.. bah la la! watever larz!

things are still the same thus far.. been rotting lky i used to do whenever the hols start.. wanted to find a job but im just too lazy to get one, i wanted to accomplish so many things during this hols but i duno where and how to start, blah blah blah.. so nothing to do, nothing new.. i guess im gonna bum ard and wait for money to drop at the meantime..

i noe im lazy.. but i cant help it! bah!