i would like to dedicate this entry to miss angie... (if she ever sees it!)
well, was toking to angie yesterday, then she suddenly ask me; " are u true to yourself?".. yeah.. true.. tt qn stunned me.. it made me have a serious consideration on how everything is going on and progressing.. crazy thoughts running thru my mind... how true am i to myself? how true am i to my parents? how true am i to my frens? how true am i to god? how true am i to everything? TRUE! annoying thoughts.. thoughts that i would nv tot of... thoughts that really frightens me.. juz being a wimp, a coward.. but then come to tink of it.. how many ppl can have the courage to face the truth? escaping frm reality.. it juz made me feel so 'happy'.. so angry with myself.. for doing silly things.. everything do happen for a reason... a reason.. the reason tt would take all happiness away, take all the beautiful things in my life.. juz for tt reason.. it sealed everything... so u all mite think.. "aiya there she goes again.. thinking too much.." so am i supposed to just sit back and dump everything to one side? argh! the flashbacks, the thoughts, the words, the stares.. well, i am beginning to hate myself.. so i try to comfort myself.. happiness always come after sadness.. wah! so comforting.. yeah.. indeed it was.. and i realise tt when i am sad or angry.. i only can seek comfort to one fren.. only she knows how i feel.. but then, it end up tt we are both comforting each other.. juz trying to sae those words tt doesnt hurt tt much.. those words tt were supposedly to use on myself.. we all know.. these are just comforting words.. so what can u do? sit down alone and cry? hug my frens? or just be strong in front of all of them.. if ask me, i would choose to escape.. duno why..
so in the end, my brother told me; " ah girl, have a good thought, come up with a desicion and laugh it all away.. life is like a dream." sometimes i do find him a pain in the ass.. and at times i just feel tt he is the wise one tt would help me with everything and anything.. so.. he still loves me.. and tt is the only comforting thing tt i can tink of rite now..
so miss angie.. listen up.. u know all those stuff t i am gonna tell u may not be true.. so i shall tell u; i love you dear! and tt is true!